More out of life

You are allowed to want more out of life. Give yourself permission to receive it. We can be both grateful for what we have currently and still desire more at the same time.

What would you be doing right now if you allowed yourself to go after more in life?

What would you be doing if you stopped listening to the opinions of others on what you should do with you life?

Where do you want to be in 5 years? What’s your dream life?

Will you be there if you continue doing what you’re doing right now?

I will never forget being asked these questions and then having to answer them. It made me realize that the power to change my life was in MY hands. I had to stop giving away my power to other people on how they thought I should live my life.

It was scary to start stepping into what I truly wanted to do. I felt fear and insecurities. It honestly hurt my feelings (I’m sensitive haha) when I heard people talking shit about me and making fun of me. But I had to keep reminding myself that those people weren’t going to help me get my dream life. And neither was the fear that I had been allowed to hold me back.

So I stepped into complete discomfort and showed up. It was messy. It was imperfect. But it was better than not going after it at all.

And this is what I keep doing today. Leaning into discomfort. Not letting fear take over my decision making. Trying new things. Taking chances. Making mistakes. Learning more through reading books and listening to podcasts. Trying to think outside of myself and my own world views.

And, I’m pretty happy with the woman I am and who I becoming today. Stepping into this has allowed me to shed the people who didn’t belong in my life and allowed me to step into my authentic self.

And honestly, it’s been so rewarding. The peace I feel today is worth all the shit that I’ve gone through in the past. I’ve decided to allow myself to want more and receive more. And it feels pretty dang good.

#sobermotherhood #singlemama #yyj #canadian #longhairdontcare #summer2021 #personaldevelopment #growthjourney #stephywray #shinebright

One of "those girls"

If you told me two years ago that I would be quitting my dream job to become one of “those girls” who did “those things” - I probably would have thought you were insane.

Two years ago, I was part of a core team of people that opened up the first mental health and addiction treatment centre on the West Coast of Canada. I was married with a son that had just turned 2, two preteen step kids, 1 Bernese mountain dog and 2 fat orange cats (they’re the best!). I lived in a beautiful home on almost 2 acres in the countryside….and on the outside, life was great.

But on the inside, I was unhappy at home. Trying to keep everyone happy and fix problems that were there long before I entered the picture. I tried to keep everything together for our family. Tried to forced myself to be happy and look at the positives of my situation. But thank god, and I mean that, thank god my (ex)husband told me he wanted a divorce.

I decided to start my business realizing that it was going to be up to me to support my son as a single mom. I had big dreams and goals and knew that if I wanted any of those things to happen, I was the only one who had the power to make them happen. So on top of working full time and navigating a new foreign world of divorce/single parenting and all the shame and stigma that comes along with it, I got to work.

Fast forward almost two years later, and this is how I fully support myself and Hunter. I am so freaking grateful to be one of “those girls” doing “those things” because it’s allowed me to have more time with Hunter. It’s allowed me to not be stressed financially as a single mom. It’s forced me to grow as a woman and become a way better version of myself. It’s given me a community of people that actually want to see me do better and see me succeed. It’s allowed me to help many people get healthier, overcome their fears and limiting beliefs, and build successful businesses themselves.

Sometimes I sit back and it just hits me where I can’t believe that this is my life. It makes me cry knowing what my life could have been if I hadn’t had taken that leap of faith and said “yes” to this. Life is good. And I know this is only the beginning🖤

Real life

I know I share a lot of my life on here.

I have shared my struggles and tears throughout the difficulties of step-family life, divorce, co-parenting, etc. I share my mental health & addiction stories. I share my insecurities. I have shared about my history with abusive relationships (not as much because I’m still working though that trauma).

I know it can seem like “too much” for some. And that’s okay. I do it because when other people before me did it, I held onto their stories and triumphs as hope that I could get though those situations too.

If me sharing my experiences, my truth, REAL LIFE SHIT, can help one person feel less alone and give them hope - I’ve done my job. My wish is that by me being open and vulnerable and continuing to show up despite the huge life fuck ups I’ve had, and still walking forward on a path to become my best self...that it will inspire others to do the same too.

It’s hard on social media with the perfect pictures and people showing the best parts of their lives... it’s hard to remember that everyone is just human. We all have our stuff.

So incase you needed to hear this today - you are good enough exactly the way you are. You matter. You are worthy. And you can do this.❤️

#sobermotherhood #yyj #tuesdaythoughts #fieldsandsunsets #sunsetphotography #mamabear #boymom #addictionrecovery #singlemom #youareenough #youmatter

5 things you might not know about me!

There’s a lot of new faces here so I thought it would be fun to do 5 things you might not know about me!

1. I grew up speaking both French and English. I went to an all French school where you would get in trouble for speaking English! Unfortunately, in my teenage rebellion, I refused to speak it and have lost a lot of it. I can still understand it somewhat and would love to get it back one day.

2. I have my Social Work degree and wanted to do addictions counselling. Somehow I ended up in politics instead after my degree, made my way back to mental health + addictions work, and now have my own business!

3. Hunter was a surprise baby! My ex and I had only been together 6 months when we found out we were pregnant. I truly believe that Hunter was put into my life for a reason. He has brought so much healing and love into my life. Best surprise of my life❤️

4. The top place on my bucket list to visit is Bali. I have wanted to go there for so long and I am determined to make this happen soon.

5. I started my business in September 2019 and left my job in October 2020. It was a terrifying decision to let go of the stability of a 9-5 corporate career, but has been so rewarding for Hunter and I. Having this flexibility, especially as a single mom, has been the biggest blessing for us. I am forever grateful for all of incredible clients and team who have helped make this possible for us❤️

Learn from failure

You learn more from failure than you do success. I know this to be true.

In my mind, failure is only when you quit or choose not to see the lesson in what’s happening. It’s when you stop trying. The road to success is full of “failures”, set backs and things that didn’t work out.

So many of us give up as soon as things get hard. We take it as a sign that it’s not meant to be. Or we get full of mindset junk thinking we are unworthy or not good enough or just not cut out to do it. So we quit. We stop trying to reach our goal. We fall back into what’s comfortable which is the mundane every day parts of life. We would rather that instead of feeling the uncomfortable feelings of growth. But you guys, THIS IS WHEN THE GOOD STUFF HAPPENS. The difference between people who reach their goals and those who don’t is this exact part in the journey. Many quit…but the ones who go on to reach their goals and succeed, don’t quit. They get up again. They look for the lesson in what’s happening. They ask themselves “What can I learn from this situation”? They use it as a tool to move forward, instead of using it as an excuse to quit.

The times were things get tough are what make us. They are allow us to grow. Every “no” gets you closer to your “yes”. Every detour gets you closer to the RIGHT path to your goal.

And for full disclosure, I have “failed” many times. SO MANY TIMES. There actually have been times where I just quit. I didn’t want to learn the lesson. And the universe kept presenting me with the same scenario in different ways until I learned the lesson. I didn’t get to where I am today easily. I fought to get here today. My journey has been a full on rollercoaster ride at times…and I’m grateful for that. “Failing” doesn’t feel good. It’s uncomfortable. It can make you question everything about yourself. The difference with me now is that when I go through these periods, I get excited because I know huge growth is on the other side of it. We need to go through those valleys to get to the peaks - it’s all part of the journey xo

#yyj #sobermotherhood #blackandwhite #entrepreneurmotivation #sobriety #recovery #recoveringoutloud #singlemama #boymom #growthjourney

14 years sober

Today marks 14 years without alcohol and drugs.

I had just turned 19 when I went to rehab. I was lost, hated myself and a shell of a human. It was terrifying going to a facility, especially being the youngest one there, but also terrifying leaving my old life behind into a completely unknown world of sobriety. But I was sick and tired of living the way I was.

I am so grateful to my parents who held their boundaries strong and let me hit my bottom while always keeping the door to recovery open for me. Hitting my bottom allowed me to finally accept the gift of treatment.

I often get asked by people if they think I could ever drink again...the answer is no. I truly don’t think so. Why would I risk trying anyways? Life is good today and I know the kind of person I can become when I pick up substances. I don’t stop... and I won’t stop... and then next thing you know I’ve awake for two days with people I don’t know, somewhere I don’t know. Birds are chirping early in the morning and that pit aches at the bottom of my stomach...and I hate myself. I never want to be that version of Stephanie ever again.

I’m so grateful for the freedom recovery has given me. Freedom to make mistakes. Freedom to peel back the layers of the complicated human I am. Freedom to learn. Freedom to LIVE. Freedom to feel good. Freedom to love myself and be happy.

I am here today for so many reasons. The 12 step programs, my family, my many amazing friends, therapy, world conferences, retreats, spiritual awakenings, and so many more. I didn’t do this alone and I am grateful for all of the people who I have crossed paths with along the way - good or bad. It’s shaped me to who I am today.

I have fallen flat on my face many times in recovery. Multiple emotion bottoms where I had hard lessons to learn. I just didn’t pick up. Thank god for that. Just because we get sober... it doesn’t mean life gets perfect. It means that we learn how to deal with all the ups and downs of life without the escape of alcohol/drugs and the nightmares that go along with addiction.

Life is pretty amazing today. I am proud of the woman & mother that I am. I owe that to my recovery❤️

#recoveryispossible

Reflection

I have been reflecting a lot on this last year and how I took a big leap of faith with starting my business. I did it because I knew I wanted more for Hunter and I.

I worked full time (more than full time hours) alongside starting this journey because I BELIEVED. I had a vision for Hunter and I... and I knew it was up to me. Did I sacrifice things? Yes. Has it been worth it? HECK YES.

I gave up a promising career - my dream job actually, because my business took off and I LOVE what I do. Looking back at a year ago right now, I definitely wouldn’t have pictured my life to be where it is now. I get to be with my son more. I get to give him the life I always wanted. I have flexibility and freedom now... something I always wanted but didn’t know how I would achieve.

I am so freaking grateful. I can’t even describe it. I’m so grateful for every single one of you who have followed my journey, who have sent me encouraging messages, who have shared their stories with me, who have trusted me with helping them, and for just being here.

I’m pushing for the last promotion I will ever push for with my company - the biggest one yet. The top 1% of my company - National Vice President. This is a team effort and something I didn’t do alone. My team is AMAZING and I’m so proud of them!!! This weekend we are closing it out. We still have ground to cover and are going to be working hard to finish it... and this literally makes me tear up writing this.

To anyone who has ever doubted themselves - THIS IS POSSIBLE.

To anyone who is struggling with mental health and addiction - RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE and you are capable of great things!!! There is life beyond your struggles. I promise. Don’t ever give up.

To any single parent who has cried themselves to sleep wondering how they would make ends meet and provide for their babies - YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW. I see you.

To any person who has struggled to love and value themselves - YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU ARE WORTHY.